Mix Annotations - Long Loose Thoughts
Hi Friends,
Since I last sent out on of these I’ve been feeling pretty nostalgic.
Part of that has to do with moving to a new place, since saying goodbye to one home means a lot of reflecting on the time spent there. (As an aside, I ended up getting “The Old Apartment” stuck in my head a lot, so much so that I considered using it in the mix. An old roomate told me that the old apartment from “The Old Apartment” was just a few doors down from the KFC that used to be near Dundas and Dovercourt. True or not, the KFC’s not there anymore anyways.)
Another part of the nostalgia also has to do with this being my 10th Toronto summer, and anniversaries, like dreams, always feel like they could mean something (whether they should or do is another question). So I ended up rewatching Take This Waltz. I remembered it capturing a particular kind of ruminative, hot feeling that I find myself a bit prone to. It made a real impression on me back then when I first saw it. I think some of this had to do with being younger than the characters, not just in years (I was 22 and they were like 28? 30?), but also in milestones (me being unmarried, having no career and no assets). It’s like how when you’re a kid and everyone seems ten feet taller and a hundred years older. It’s a big life gap, but Michelle Williams had an emotional driftiness that I could connect to. At the time I watched it with this feeling of I hope this isn’t still me when I grow up. Watching it 10 years later, now older than the characters (mainly just in years), it was nice to watch it and go “Ah, yes. I know this feeling well,” and in turn feel like I’m maybe one foot taller and ten years older than they are.
Anyway, to cap it all off I had a catch-up call with Marianne who is (and I’m sure she wouldn’t think of herself this way) one of my iconic Toronto exes. She said how in the first few years after moving away she still had this love for Toronto and would hold onto this idea that some day she’d move back. But then so many of her friends moved away, and so many of the places she loved closed. Even though we all know that a city is more than a playground for young people, it’s still fair to feel some way about not being able to move back to (the Toronto of) your 20s. Nor would I want to!
Here in my 30s now, I hope that I’m being nostalgic to help ground myself for whatever the next thing will be. Like, ideally looking back (which I do but don’t do too often) is creating this runway so I can pick up enough speed to launch into whatever my next New is: a new job, a new city, a new cause, a new feeling, a new outlook, etc. As people are getting their first and second doses, and we’re all trying to get a bit more hopeful that the lockdowns can safely end, I know that we shouldn’t put pressure to suddenly reinvent ourselves to coincide with the reopening of the economy or our social lives. Just as there should not have been any pressure to write a novel during quarantine, any “new you” needs to happen while balancing that we may need to ramp up slowly, that it’s hard to shake off a year of stagnation (and to be grateful if that’s the worst you experienced). Growth will happen in time. Pandemic or not, you are always becoming a new you. I am always becoming a new me. The dream right now is all this nostalgia is building me a nice little foundation to help inform me on myself.
Anyways, here’s the link to the latest mix: soundcloud.com/draiser2021/long-loose-thoughts
ANNOTATIONS
Here is how I first heard the stuff in this mix:
Take This Waltz (2011) See above.
British Sea Power - Apologies to Insect Life Close personal friends. Always satisfying to be like, “I don’t know if I remember this song,” and then the minute you put it on, “Oh right. No, yeah, this totally rips.”
illuminati hotties - MMMOOOAAAAAYAYA On the music sites lately. I really like the character work in the vocals. Something that I think John Dwyer also does pretty well.
Tracey Ullman - You Caught Me Out I don’t remember. Sorry.
They Came Together (2014) Similar to the British Sea Power discussion, it’s nice to watch a movie you forgot about but the minute you put it on, “Oh right. No, yeah, this totally rips.”
Hot Chip - Ready for the Floor Close personal friends. Part of my nostalgia kick, this song always makes me think of one of my iconic Guelph exes.
Kaleema - Invoco Looked cool on a download site.
Salami Rose Joe Louis - We’re Dumb Close personal friends.
Nadia Mostafa - Eid El Melad Youtube recommendation maybe? I can’t remember. It’s always good to put catchy lyrics in your songs so people remember them.
Danielle - Relaxin’ On Holiday Someone I follow on Bandcamp bought this. Very fun. She just put out a new EP too.
Shinichi Tanabe - Prison Gate Island Theme Definitely a Youtube recommendation. I promise you.
Natalie Bergman - I Will Praise You Someone I follow on Bandcamp bought this.
Electralane - Cut and Run Excavated from my harddrive.
Eduardo Mateo - El chi-li-ban-dan From Jocelyn Romo’s April NTS show.
NNAMDÏ - Salut Someone I follow on Bandcamp bought this.
Nancy Sinatra - You Only Live Twice I had gotten Robbie Williams’ “Millenium” stuck in my head, and was considering it for the mix, but then when I listened to it I realized the song isn’t very good but the sample in the hook is. Turns out it’s the theme song from the (most) racist James Bond movie!
Lydia Ainsworth - Parade Close personal friend. This song keeps getting stuck in my head.
Black Moth Super Rainbow - Sunset Curses Close personal friend.
The Company of Strangers (1990) Just a fun hangout movie with a bunch of old ladies. Totally recommend it, especially if you’re having a lazy day inside trying to beat the heat. Canadians can watch it for free on the NFB website.
The Five Stairsteps - O-o-h Child Close personal friends, but I also just watched Crooklyn and this song is on the soundtrack. Also a fun hangout movie, this one with kids.
While space allows, I’m stashing my recent mixes and annotations in a Google Drive folder, which you can visit here: The Archive
DRAISER 2021
As of this writing, the fundraiser is approaching $3500, so I’ve decided to up our goal to $5000. My own personal goal is to get 5 friends to help me with this very low-effort, passive campaign. So far only the only people who have stepped up are:
- Jade
- Shayna
It would mean a lot to me if you considered joining us. I’m happy to talk about the many low-impact ways you can do this! Let me know if you’d like to help, or otherwise you can donate here: tinyurl.com/Draiser2021. Even if you’ve already donated, please consider sharing it with your friends and family.