Sometimes (a lot of times?) I Don't Feel Like a Writer
It’s no secret I haven’t put a book out in a while.
Well, maybe it is a secret, whispered in the halls of Bouchercon or Left Coast Crime, hush tones while looking through the trade in books—”Ya know, Dave White hasn’t put a book out in a while.” Ah, to dream.
There are a myriad of reasons why. Different job. A second kid. Stress of COVID.
But, mainly, and honestly, it was because I botched an idea. It was my dream project and it’s not dead, but it is definitely on the backburner. I probably wrote ten drafts of the darn thing and could never fix one of the central problems of the main character. Back and forth it went, never quite right. And so about two years ago I put it aside and started on another thing. I outlined the other thing. I got a lot of it right.
And after writing every day for a year plus on the third draft, I’ve sent it to my agent. So, now I wait. And my brain is kind of mush because of it. The adrenaline rush of writing every day and working toward a goal is gone, because I’m waiting on edits. And every time I stop, I tell myself I’m going to keep writing.
Something else. A new idea. Back to the book on the backburner. I don’t know.
But the ideas aren’t really coming right now. My brain is a mishmash of mush and muck (and who knows what other M words). Instead, I’m embroiled in the day job, family life and other stuff.
I think that’s why I started the newsletter. To feel like a writer. I remember (OLD MAN RANT COMING) in the early days of blogs, there were stretches where I wasn’t writing, but I could at least post thoughts on writing. You get the interaction with other writers—you got other folks’ thoughts on craft, promotion and etc. It was still part of that world.
Social media doesn’t feel like that to me anymore. It doesn’t go deep enough.
I’ll feel like a writer again. Probably when my brilliant agent comes back with some edits. Or when the ideas start sparking again (by the way, we need to talk about where ideas come from).
But right (write now?), I’m not feeling it. I got other stuff to focus on.
Except, I like feeling like a writer. Because, here’s the deal, I love writing. And I’m going to keep doing it—even when I don’t feel like a writer. And with some good luck, I’ll have another book out soon.
What I’m Into
I want to check out Insomnia again. I’ve been on a Nolan kick, and it’s one I haven’t seen since it came out. It was cheap on iTunes so I picked it up last week. Just need to find the time to watch it. Does anyone have good memories of this? I remember Robin Williams being a powerhouse. Can’t wait to watch again.
I’m also very excited to check out Don’t Let the Devil Ride by Ace Atkins. I just was blessed with a galley and it’s next on the reading list. Atkins is a fantastic writer and I love the Quinn Colson series, so I can’t wait for this one.
And if you know me, you know I’m a huge Slough House/Mick Herron fan. Well with the latest news that they are adapting Down Cemetery Road for AppleTV, it will be time to pick that one up off the shelf.
Lots to write about (but I thought I didn’t feel like a writer) and lots to be entertained by.
Thanks for reading.