Welcome to 2026, America, where Trump—despite being elected by half the country after inciting an insurrection and accumulating a criminal résumé that would make lesser men sweat—is still incapable of processing a loss from six years ago. And apparently, the nation’s intelligence apparatus is now his personal grievance squad. Yes, the director of national intelligence—whose actual job is to track real threats abroad—has spent months trawling through Fulton County in a baseball cap, hunting for election fraud that doesn’t exist. Nothing screams critical national security work like standing next to a scanner and whispering, Could the ballots be lying?

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Director Tulsi Gabbard has reportedly spent weeks studying voting machines, analyzing swing-state data, consulting with lawyers who once peddled the stolen-election fairy tale, and briefing the president on her findings. Translation: our nation’s top spy has pivoted from counterterrorism to domestic ghost hunting. Because why focus on real dangers when you can play electoral archaeologist for a man who cannot reconcile with 81 million Americans—plus a handful of Republicans—voting differently than he wanted? It’s as if national security is now a footnote to Trump’s personal therapy session.

Let’s be crystal clear: there is zero evidence—none, nada, zip—that the 2020 election was rigged. Recounts, audits, bipartisan investigations, and even Trump-appointed cybersecurity officials all confirmed the results. Yet here we are, watching the intelligence community divert resources to chase a fantasy six years in the past, because the man in the Oval Office refuses to move on. It’s like watching a toddler throw a tantrum at a grown-up’s dinner table, except this tantrum comes with subpoenas, FBI raids, and a side of potential constitutional sabotage.

Meanwhile, the administration is dangling executive orders on voting and flirting with redistricting beyond the post-census norm. The message is clear: if you can’t win fairly, manufacture a narrative that lets you protect the integrity of future elections. Forget national security. Forget crises abroad. If the president wakes up convinced Georgia was stolen, suddenly the entire state is a high-value target. Reality? Optional. Democracy? Contingent. Ego? Mandatory.

And here’s the kicker: Gabbard is being praised for this vital role in identifying vulnerabilities, says her office. Yes, Tulsi, the biggest vulnerability is literally the man who cannot accept defeat, who treats six-year-old election results as existential crises, and whose obsession now risks poisoning the 2026 midterms before a single ballot is cast. If this is the kind of leadership we reward, someone hand out medals to people who can still chase imaginary crimes in their spare time.

So yes, the country’s intelligence chief has been conscripted into a six-year-long Trump-era fact-checking operation. And we’re supposed to rest easy knowing the people tasked with keeping America safe abroad are busy chasing domestic phantoms. If this is the new normal, consider me permanently alarmed—and not just about the midterms. Because if six years of obsession haven’t healed this wound, what makes anyone think the next election is safe from the fallout?

America, grab your popcorn. The rerun of Groundhog Day: Election Edition is live—and the star refuses to leave the stage. Popcorn optional. Rage mandatory.