I’m going to make this newsletter a short one. I’m finally writing my memoir. It’s taken years to get here because I still had so much to unpack, let alone beat so much male socialization out of me. It’s not easy being a straight Jewish woman AMAB and I don’t recommend it.

While it was cathartic writing Chapter 8—the chapter I needed to write first and it’s already close to 3,000 words—writing the acknowledgements section has brought about so many tears. I don’t know if they are happy tears or sad tears, but I’m just so incredibly grateful for my inner circle of friends that I could turn to while it was WWIII at home in late 2015 into early 2016.

I never displayed the classic tells in public because I knew it meant social annihilation, so I had to wait until I otherwise had privacy before I could do anything like raid my mom’s closet or wrap a towel around me as if it were a sleeveless dress and giving myself cleavage. Repressing and tricking myself into thinking feelings of envy were attraction were the only way I could survive. I had to bury myself down so much that I’m just now finally discovering long-repressed feelings that I could never act on. The cruel cosmic irony of it all… will be explained in the book.

The plan is to seek out a traditional publisher before making the decision to self-publish. I don’t know if the above image will be the final cover artwork, but it’s the teaser image I have for now.

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