Emptiness is Not Forever
Volume 23, Chapter XI, Number 037
Hello!
This Week’s One Great Thing: Emptiness is Not Forever
As we prepare for Christmas this year, let’s reflect on the days we feel some emptiness in our lives. This year, you could have gone through any of the following:
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Loss of a loved one: the death of someone close to us can can often us feeling a deep sense of emptiness and grief as we navigate life without that person's presence.
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Relationship breakup: going through a breakup or the end of a significant relationship can leave us feeling empty and lost, especially if we had invested a lot of time and effort into the relationship.
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Career dissatisfaction: feeling unfulfilled or unsatisfied can create a sense of emptiness, as if there is a lack of purpose or meaning in our work. We also might feel some panic because we are not getting any younger, and we think it’s difficult to start again or move to another company.
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Loneliness: feeling isolated and lacking meaningful connections with others can lead to a profound sense of emptiness, as we yearn for deeper connections and a sense of belonging.
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Spiritual or existential questioning: Exploring questions of life's purpose, existence, and spirituality can sometimes elicit feelings of emptiness as we grapple with the unknown and seek answers or meaning.
We look at the empty cribs of our hearts and imagine Christ’s being born right in that emptiness - like that manger in Bethlehem on a random night. We remember that the Messiah is born in the most unlikely places.
And then we look at Mary of the Magnificat, who sings of mystery, wonder, and amazement. Amazement that cannot be contained overflows into deep happiness that births song and shouting and celebration.
We look at those two seemingly divergent feelings and realise that they stem from the same wellspring of emotions called being human. We live fully, and because of that, we sometimes feel empty and sometimes filled to brimming; we experience deep loss and deep hope, deep sadness and deep joy. When we open ourselves up to sacrifice, we also open ourselves up to joy. When we open ourselves up to love, we also open ourselves up to pain.
Welcome to Humanity. Welcome to Divinity.
Simon Peter, Thomas (called Didymus), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. “I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.” So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.
As the dawn was breaking, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.
He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”
“No,” they answered.
He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.
Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. [John 21: 2-7]
I love this story from the Bible the most (I also love the beautiful story of Esau forgiving his brother Jacob, but I will save that for another letter). I love this story because it tells a very human tale that rivals the classics: disciples return to their best-known skill (fishing) and catch nothing, a depressing routine that becomes even more depressing due to failure at what they used to do best, the darkness of night reflecting the mood of the disciples who had lost hope, and just as dawn breaks, Hope walks on the shore.
Beautiful.
Imagine how depressing that whole activity was for them! Proud fishermen, they received the chance to become fishers of men, and just as they were getting the hang of it, Jesus dies in the worst death possible - accused as a criminal. And now, defeated, when they thought they could go back to fishing, they catch nothing.
It was like the world staring them right in the face, telling them, “You will not be able to return to normal programming. You cannot be fishermen anymore. You have lost the touch. You have lost the feel of the water. You have been gone too long.”
That is what Emptiness truly means. When you have given everything to the hope of a better life, but all your efforts end up in vain.
And so all they could do at the moment was to stare at NOTHING - stare at the emptiness. They faced their empty nets and empty hearts full of empty promises. Three wasted years. They put their lives on hold to follow the ONE they saw with their eyes and felt in their hearts. That ONE crafted beautiful stories, told them about an equally beautiful God, and used his charisma to unite people, bringing the Torah to life; he performed miracles, he fed five thousand, enabled cripples to walk, cured lepers, and restored sight to the blind. So no one can blame them for trusting the Man. He personified HOPE.
The bad thing about hope is that when you lose it, trusting again becomes twice as hard. This holds true for anyone. Once someone has hurt you, having faith and believing again becomes so hard. The challenge involves loving again as if you never experienced heartbreak, as if you’re falling in love for the first time every time. As if you never had to lick your wounds. As if you have no wounds at all!
The challenge for the disciples in that boat involves staring at those empty nets.
We look at the empty nets of our own lives. For some of us, we have gone through deep shit. We have lost and lost again and lost our way. What was once very clear to us and what we held with deep conviction and certainty no longer gives hope and consolation. We feel empty—becoming shells of our former selves.
And we can wallow in this emptiness, but the next scene is beautiful. Just as dawn is breaking, with the earth groaning under the strain of night giving way reluctantly to day, the sun bursts forth in hues of reds, yellows, and vermilion.
But that is NOT what makes the scene beautiful.
Because you have to look beyond the beauty of dawn. And you have to look beyond your empty nets and broken heart. And you have to look to that familiar shadow on the shore.
Behold the Man.
Keeping his promise. Reminding us to REMEMBER who we are and what we are supposed to do. Filling empty nets full to the brim, to the the point of breaking it. Making us hope again. Love again. Like it was our first and only time.
Just when we think that normal programming is no longer possible. Just when we find it hard to believe and love and hope again. Just when we think there is no future. Just when we think nets will always be empty and night will always be endless. All we have to do is look beyond the empty nets and our broken hearts. And to that familiar shadow on the shore.
Because emptiness?
It is not forever.
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More Great Stuff:
✅ Uncluttering the Baggages of Our Lives
✅ Creating a Sacred Workspace: How to Optimise Your Environment for Productivity and Spirituality
Ok! Now pause, get yourself to a window, look up to the sky, smile, and have a great day! Look forward to send you another letter next week!
☕ eric santillan