A Curriculum for Life
Volume 23, Chapter I, Number 007
Hello!
This Week’s One Great Thing: A Curriculum for Life
There are some things in life which are self-evident. The American Declaration of Independence for example talks about all men being created equal, that all men have been endowed with the right to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. This is self-evident — we do not question it. We do not debate it (although its actual execution and operation is something that is still being discussed, fought over and expanded in definition).
One of these self-evident truths is that we need to have healthy relationships, we need to manage our money, and deeper than that — we need to manage our sense of_enough_. We also need to take care of our body (because health is wealth, yada yada), and manage our schedule, and balance life and work. Lastly, we need to set out and do something with our life. These things are self-evident — we do not question and debate them. But exactly like the American Declaration of Independence’s concept of “equal” the actual execution and operation of these self-evident truths leaves much to be desired.
We are rarely taught the skills to live them out in our lives. We train for other things. We go to school for less essential stuff. We learn algebra and physics, but we are not taught how to choose the right partner — probably the most important decision we will ever make in our life! So many couples have broken up not because of fundamental differences (a legal and social justification for breaking up), but because they do not have the skills for marriage — skills which you learn in organisations (the good ones at least) if you cared enough to listen: managing communication, listening, budget management, schedule management, project management, planning, visioning, etc.
If life is important — then we should train for life as much as we train in school or train to be a good manager. If life is important as we say — then we should train for the home with as much attention and vigour as we train for work.
In my mind, a Life Curriculum ideally includes three major categories:
Life Skills. This would include any skill building activities or classes to help you with the operations of basic life skills. These would include anything from financial planning and budgeting, cooking, home repairs, gardening, car maintenance, and the like. One of my friends reminded me that driving and swimming are very good life skills. I totally agree.
Habits. Habits are what shape our lives and can either propel or bring us down. A life curriculum ideally builds positive habits such as exercising, reading, practicing gratitude, and developing a positive mindset.
Values. A life curriculum should also include building moral and ethical values that will be of help throughout our lives. This can include a discussion of work ethic, responsibility and respect for others, honesty, and the importance of meaningful relationships.
What should be part of this Life Curriculum? Here are some very initial thoughts:
- Learning to Make Decisions: Learning the basics of decision-making will help us to be more confident and capable when it comes to making decisions in life. This includes NOT making major life decisions in the state of stress or anxiety.
- Building Self-Esteem: Learning to appreciate and love ourselves increases our likelihood of success in other areas of life. This self-mastery is critical in finding the right relationships and eventually finding your significant other.
- Visioning your Life (or the Life of your family). At some point in your life, you need to sit down and think about where you are, and where you want to go and how you want to spend the rest of your life. And then when you get married, you need to be able to do this with your spouse. You can’t let this depend on chance. If you only have one life, then this has to be the priority of all priorities.
- Life Project Management. Once the vision is clear, and the priorities are laid out, then you need to be able to break these down into projects, and then track in a project management system to monitor its implementation. Some people use apps like Day One, Things, Todoist or Ticktick to do this. There’s also Timestripe, which is a tool precisely made for life planning.
- Couples Productivity. In my work as a counsellor, many couples have conflated irreconcilable differences or compatibility issues with issues of productivity: problems often begin as basic problems of time management, or financial issues (budgeting, should we have one or two bank accounts, etc.) or communication style differences. I often wonder how these problems could have been nipped in the bud with a good and open meeting between the couple before they go down the rabbit hole. In fact, what couple call communication issues are often merely communication-style problems.
- Time Management: Understanding how to use our time most effectively will help us to achieve more in our lives.
- Avoiding Procrastination: Learning strategies to help overcome procrastination will keep us on track with reaching our goals and providing us with extra time to enjoy the things we love.
- Healthy Lifestyle Habits: Establishing habits such as eating well, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep will help us to stay healthy and energised so that we can make the most of our lives.
If there’s an advanced Life Curriculum, the following would be part of it: - Mindful Living. Learning about the practice of mindfulness can help us to live in the present moment, appreciate the beauty of life, and manage stress and difficult emotions. Overall, this is a good skill to have (and habit to learn) whatever religion you are in.
- Setting Relationship Boundaries: A lot of issues we face in life are issues of boundary (our boundaries can be too porous or too rigid). Developing a better understanding of ourselves and the people around us can help us to develop healthier relationships and healthier boundaries that will be win-win for us and the people we love.
- Financial Literacy: A good understanding of money management, budgeting, investing, and other beneficial financial habits will help us to make the most of our money and secure our future.
What do you think? Do you have other suggestions for this Life Curriculum? What subject here would have saved you a lot of grief if you had learned them when you were younger?
If this email was forwarded to you, pls subscribe to receive new posts and support this work by clicking this link.
More Great Stuff:
- this is a beautiful and thought provoking short essay on the idea that we believed in deeply in the past, may not be able to serve us anymore as we grow in our own spirituality.
- what does it mean to get a second chance spiritually? We may have spent a lifetime following a particular spiritual tradition or path, only to find that it no longer feeds our soul, or that we were following it for all of the wrong reasons, to please our families, perhaps, out of sense of obligation, or somewhat unthinking tribal allegiance. Or it simply no longer addresses questions that we have come to be committed to in a way that is satisfactory. Alternatively, we might realize, after some tremendous jolt to our system triggered by a significant loss, usually of someone or something we loved dearly, that we must now have deeper meaning to inform us. An existential crisis can result, our own Dark Night of the Soul, filled with despair, heartbreak and longing, where despite our wanting to be lifted up, we are unable to rise to the occasion. This is when we need to give ourselves a spiritual second chance.
Inside the Mind of a Master Procrastinator
- Tim Urban does one thing really well - he crams and he talks about his cramming in a very witty and funny way. This is TED Talk gold.
Ok! Now pause, get yourself to a window, look up to the sky, smile, and have a great day! Look forward to send you another letter next week!
☕ eric santillan