The Five Best Movies Ever
Whenever you see a newspaper/magazine/web site/TV show/newsletter publish a list, it’s because that particular publication/writer is completely out of ideas.
So he/she/it publishes a list of the “10 Greatest Thingys” or the “500,000 Waterfalls You MUST Visit Before You Die” or “25 Easy-to-Make Souffles for the Holidays.”
And let’s face it, we lap it up. It’s catnip. Especially the titles. This genre of “writing” was the basis for an entire (but now admittedly bankrupt) business/web site.
So, it’s been a few weeks and I haven’t come up with a single reasonably good/funny/entertaining/informative idea for a post. Hence…
“The Five Best Movies Ever”
Of course any time anyone attempts to rank anything subjective - albums, cars, books, presidents - the Internet has a collective hissy-fit meltdown. That’s what I’m going for here.
These are, without question or need for discussion or comment, the five greatest movies ever made. I am basing this list on one criterion only:
If one of these movies is on while I am channel/streaming surfing, I HAVE to watch.
It does not matter how many times I’ve seen it (about 100 for each) or if I just saw it the day before yesterday. I will always stop and watch, usually to the end.
All of these movies are in my DVD collection, so they’re available any time. Doesn’t matter. If it’s on the screen and I happen upon it, it’s getting watched.
So without further delay, here goes:
5.) “Goodfellas”: A Scorsese masterpiece of casting, acting (Ray Liotta a tour de force), directing, scoring and editing. Plus lots of whacking. And De Niro. And Lorraine Bracco. And a young Michael Imperioli learning the hard way not to talk back to, or even look at, Joe Pesci.
4.) “Hoosiers”: Gene Hackman could read the phone book out loud (if the Internet hadn’t ruined phone books for everyone) and I would watch. Plus Dennis Hopper and [spoiler alert for a 37-year-old movie] a super-duper happy ending. (No, not THAT kind of happy ending. Barbara Hershey plays a very proper farmer’s daughter.)
3.) “This is Spinal Tap”: Might be the most perfect movie ever made. It skewers half the bands I loved and the concerts I attended in high school. Plus Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, Harry Shearer and his cucumber, and Paul Shaffer. If this list went to “11”, this film would be #3.
2.) “Apollo 13”: This movie actually wrote itself in real life. All director Ron Howard had to do was recreate it. It is one of the greatest inspirational stories in human history and not in a bullshit, faux-spiritual way. This movie celebrates the human brain, science, bravery, ingenuity and the ability of big government to do big, important things that advance the human condition, even when things don’t go according to plan. Plus, a super-duper happy ending. (See #4 comment, above, but replace Barbara Hershey with Kathleen Quinlan.)
1.) “The Godfather:” Because that’s just how it is.
What’s your top five list? Feel free to leave it in the comm… oh, wait. The Internet ruined comments for everyone, so feel free to start your own newsletter instead.