The Case of the Two Missing Notepads
“I have to find it!” I exclaim to Vaimo. “I’ve been looking all over and I can’t find it anywhere!”
“Have you checked the bookcase?”
“Yes.”
“What about upstairs? You brought some things up there recently.”
“I’ve been up there twice! It’s gone!”
“What does it look like?”
Exasperated I drag out, “well, I don’t exactly know but I’m pretty sure it’s a legal pad either yellow or white. I’ve looked everywhere, I’m never going to find it”
I’m spiraling and Vaimo is helping, trying to gently suggest places it could be. She’s looking through my emotional support piles that are on the table, the coffee table, the side table near my Grandpa’s chair that I sit in nightly. Every open surface eventually becomes an installation of my stacked paper, books, magazines, and pens in every room of our house where I frequent.
I’m looking for this notepad because it’s got the matching information for a series of photographs I took in Albuquerque last summer. A hot September day a little over a year ago, the sky big and open like it is in the desert, my mom took me to our old homes so I could see where they were and what it looked like from the outside in relation to the landscape. Hermana tagged along, and served as look-out when I jumped out of Mama’s Suburban to grab photos and be all suspicious-like, creeping with my giant DSLR camera; shooting on the steets of the Northeast Heights. I’m on a path to reconstruct my life as a child, attempting to find out things about myself now. Like the painting below, I like seeing the outside of the structures so I can give some sort of life and skewed perspective of the inside.
I’m quilting my past to my present. Finding ways to incorporate handmade clothes gifted to my younger, smaller body with the memories (real or implanted) I have of my childhood spent moving way more than I remembered. When I interviewed my mama last year before beginning on these paintings of my childhood bedrooms, she too, could hardly remember some details. It’s been over forty years. I don’t blame her. I can’t remember it either.
I’d intended to write this whole newsletter narrative about all I learned when I went to the Friberg Township’s 150th Anniversary Celebration in late August. But then I couldn’t find the notepad with the notes I had written while listening attentively to the narrative spun about this land and its inhabitants. I’d eventually find the yellow notepad, but the sheet I wrote the notes on for this occasion was torn out! I didn’t remember doing that… the search continues.
The point of looking for the notes was to find the name of this woman who was elected to the Minnesota State Legislature - but I did find it on the Otter Tail County Historical Society website which then allowed me to do some more internet research. Hannah Kempfer, was Minnesota’s first woman speaker of the house! Wow, in the telling I didn’t remember hearing that fun fact. What an impactful legacy of an elected official from our little part of the county! Kempfer was elected first in 1922 and served nine terms! I also admire her independent streak and that she pushed through legislation to protect our state flower, the pink lady slipper.
Anyways, I digress, I finally found the slip of paper (yellow) I must have pulled aside to prepare for this newsletter drafting and lost track of it in a pile. And I eventually unearthed the original pad (white) which was located under two quilt tops I’ve been casually working on here and there in between other stitching projects. Which is really more a “there” situation because most of the time I find myself embroidering student loan debt banners (I just completed number 10 of 12! My how time flies).
And that’s really what all of this is about. How time flies and the many ways we try to mark it. In yearly anniversaries, with oral history, via archiving or through other research methods, we as a species love to document the passage of time. I’ve been grappling with connecting my present to my past, and recently that’s been via paintings and community gatherings alike. Chris Schuelke started off by addressing the the very full township hall with the phrase “your ancestors’ history.” I snorted and Vaimo kneed me, because the half-hour long talk about the school districts of the county and the tillable land, timber and water resources, and the relocation of civil war veterans to this place was not my ancestors’ history. But it certainly was many of the crowd’s ancestors’ history. And I was happy for them to have the opportunity to reflect on it, and for the opportunity for me to try to make some sense of my rural community and the stories we tell about it.
And really, it’s about making our own history, especially for those of us whose stories are not often considered as vital as others. Which is, what I plan to keep doing, in legal notepads of various sizes and in narrative paintings as if my life depends on it. Because dear reader, it does.
From the Archive
Four years ago September 14, 2020 Ritual Rest
Three years ago September 14, 2021 Married to Art
Two years ago September 15, 2022 The Eight Inch Spike of Paranoia
One year ago September 14, 2023 Hopping & Hoping
Artist Offerings
This heartbreaking story of a high school classmate’s late husband - trigger warning on suicide ideation, alcoholism, and the perils of the US healthcare system
It’s Latinx history month - check out some of the roundups highlighting art from diverse cultures
I loved learning about Melissa Cody’s weavings
And appreciated Bridget Quinn’s critiques of white feminist failures in art spaces
Also! My first mention in Hyperallergic for my billboard project celebrating Guaranteed Income for Artists in Rural Minnesota!
Creative Ritual
When in the rare occasion I’m able to get two newsletters out, the number of days between the 15th and the end of the month seem to vanish and constrict each time I look at the calendar. But so too are the little less than four weeks that happen when I get these out just once a month. Sigh. I guess I’m at (beyond) capacity again? It never feels like that until it does. And even looking at the calendar last week where I truly prioritized my art making practice above all else, I end the day depleted, drained, and too tired to muster much beyond my desire to paint. So, all of this is to say, my life is full and I’m grateful. I’m in the studio moving paint nearly daily. I’m transforming four paintings into being in my studio right now and all is good on the creative front. I served as a juror for a MN-based residency where I got to weigh in on finalists with a group of other artists. I’m also traveling all over the place for my art!
Upcoming and Ongoing opportunities with me and/or my art:
Opening Tuesday September 17th and up through October 9th Exhale, a group show of contributions by Guaranteed Income artists for Basic Income Week curated by Emerging Curator Institute and hosted at the Springboard for the Arts St. Paul offices. My original goat painting will be displayed as well as a recreation of the billboard. The exhibition will then travel to the Hennepin County Library Cargill Gallery and I’ll let you know about that as I learn more.
As part of the Basic Income Week hosted by Springboard for the Arts, I will be on site at the Fergus Falls office Wednesday September 18th facilitating a postcard writing activity as part of the Creative Economy Open House alongside other fun creative projects and opportunities 4:00-6:00pm.
September 20 - October 18, 2024 see my painting “Take a Look Around” juried for the ArteLatinx 2024 Biennial hosted by the University of Nebraska Omaha at the Bancroft Street Market. I will be there for the opening reception September 20th 6-8pm.
Through December 8, 2024 See my painting “When Two Became Three” (pictured above) as part of the Latina Latinx MN: Re/claiming Space in Times of Change Group Show at Catherine G. Murphy Gallery at St. Catherine University in St. Paul, MN
Questions to ponder
How are you currently documenting your life?
What histories of your past do you consider under-told?
How do you seek out multiple perspectives to deepen your understanding of history from different vantage points?
What is your favorite way to capture notes to remember things of the present in the future (when it’s eventually the past)?
Thanks for journeying with me. I hope, as always, that you take what you need and leave the rest for someone else, or for another time.
-KCF
Do you like seeing my paintings? Join the KCF Kafecitxos to stay up to date on the latest happenings from my studio with in real time WIP opportunities. Another perk: monthly sustainers get the print of the year sent directly to them! I’m working on this year’s print in the studio and you’re not going to want to miss it!