Last week when I wrote PT for the Soul reflecting on soups and souls and my time away from the studio I almost didn’t send it.

Mostly I thought about the adage, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

I wasn’t concerned about being mean, I hope you all know I aim to not be mean-spirited. The adage works for me in my mind for both being kind(er) with silence, but also I’ve somehow adopted this amended version too: “if you don’t have anything meaningful/smart/interesting/new… to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

What constantly surprises me is that when I don’t feel like I have anything meaningful (smart/interesting/new) to say when crafting a newsletter to my eager fans (lol) there gets to be a time in the writing when a voice inside starts doubting and negatively ruminating on the worth of it all.

The voice says things like:

What in the world are you doing?

You’re not going to send this right?

Let’s not waste the good people’s time.

But I’m also usually too far in to abort the mission. So then a different angel on my shoulder starts trying to pump me up.

Who cares?!

What does it matter? The people can choose to open or not!

Other businesses send so many emails trying to get you to buy things. It’s part of your job to communicate with your community.

And then I muster up the courage to hit send and promptly shut down my computer and go enjoy something as a reward for pumping out the newsletter.

So, all of this is to say, this entire rigamarole happened last week as I was penning (typing) PT for the Soul.

And, y’all surprised me, because I received several replies back to that email - which made me wonder if I should just lock up the detractor who tries to soften the edges around my most unhinged thoughts as they move from mind to fingers to screen.

I’m not kidding myself into thinking I am writing exquisite award nominated narratives in these newsletter correspondences; but I do aim to entertain.

And I do love when a turn of phrase of words I’ve strung together somehow catches someone’s attention.

And of course, the ones I almost don’t send out, usually have the most real time responses from the readers.

Now, what in the world could that be about, I wonder?

Anyhoooo, I am happy to report I graduated from my seven-week PT assignment. Yay!!! I got some tens machine patches and resistance bands and new hip strengthening exercises to celebrate! Fun, fun.

But not nearly as fun as getting lost in painting, junk journaling, or sticker collecting has been for me lately. Or, how much fun I have in gathering things to send to my snail mail pen pals. Or, sitting in a comfy chair and reading a novel.

It turns out, finding things that are truly the things my soul craves doing is my path out of burnout. It’s the lantern lighting the burnout cave I’m clawing my way out of; sometimes on a walkway, other times rocky boulders requiring a deeper well of effort to be mustered to face the challenge.

When I first started writing this newsletter, all I really intended to share is that I might have (in a favorite turn of phrase by my mother) shot my newsletter wad.

But funny how what one plans and what happens often diverge. Some may recall that I am on the planning team for the Middle of NOWhere Rural Art and Music Festival that takes place in rural central Iowa. I am the team’s Storyteller and Operation’s Director and it is fulfilling work.

Part of my role is writing the newsletter for the festival and we’re just moving back into a weekly cadence after being on a monthly rotation.

Good reminder - I gotta update my responsibilities tracker so I don’t overwhelm myself again now that this has shifted.

But anyways, I was going to offer if you wanted to read my words you could do so over on the MONfest channels. My most recent newsletter that just went out today is a brief interview with my friend Siri (the founder and visionary behind MONfest).

But now that I’ve rambled so much I wonder if I should even be telling you about it at all! Is this even something I should be doing?

Uh oh! The Detractor is here! She’s telling me to just trash this and go back to my comfy chair and read a book.

Ok, ok, off to do that.

As always thanks for being here.

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Life is great, life is grand. I’m grateful for you, and wishing you oil in your lamp, guiding your way in whatever cave you may find yourself.