You can listen to the essay narrated by yours truly here

Late Adopter

I am not an early adopter. In a world in which we are often forced into fixed identity categories chosen or otherwise, it feels good for me to declare this today. To know something about myself with certainty feels nice, because I don’t have to negotiate the edges of what it means to be this type of adopter. I’m not even going to put the caveat I kind of want to here, that of course this could change at any time. I’m just going to boldly declare it: I am not, nor have I ever been, an early adopter. Well, perhaps some caveat is necessary here - in that it’s not great to define yourself by what you’re not, so let me amend. I am a late adopter.

A few recent examples have particularly highlighted this truth for me. The first was a Facebook memory that emerged last week on my timeline and others’ showing I was “friends” with people for 14 years even though my relationship to those folks far pre-dated the social media archive. Stretching back through the recesses of my fragile memory to 2008, I surmised that it was probably most likely that I joined Facebook then. Even though the social media network officially launched for college students in 2004, and I was a college student that year, I was not an early adopter. In graduate school I remember thinking I didn’t need to be a part of that. I was probably still salty over the demise of MySpace, and the displacement of AOL instant messenger as the number one way to communicate socially via the computer. I was busy reading books every day and studying and going to classes and living in a big city and was doing things that now would be considered “the old fashioned way” of meeting people, like going to club meetings and hanging out at the student union Starbucks. I don’t remember what actually motivated me to finally “take the plunge,” but as soon as I did I regretted it. Having to wade through all my friend requests and constantly posting as if the platform was Twitter was a time suck. It still is, as are the other social media networks I cultivate in a more or less daily practice. Don’t get me wrong, I love an archive and it is fun to look back at my memories because there’s much more there than in the present moment in terms of posts to read. Apparently on October 14th, 2009 I was, “feeling a bit like i don't know which way is up, down, tomorrow or yesterday…” This sentiment is a familiar feeling related to the version of my life where stress was prioritized above all else. These days, I try to work to avoid that state of being.

I find that being a late adopter just helps take the edge off my constant anxiety. Because I am so worried about all the other things, I just don’t have the bandwidth to jump onto the the new bandwagons. Another example of my reticence to join in on what everyone else is doing or has been doing for years is my refusal to join TikTok. An artist friend shared with me that they’re on the platform because they don’t want to be a “Boomer” in the worst sense of that Gen Z’s dismissal of their grandparents’, my parents’, age group. I know some folks are living for the TikToks and of course it’s being touted as one of the important ways that artists can market their wares (you just simply must have some kind of video channel to support your small business). And I prefer to have others round up the best TikToks to show me elsewhere, in curated posts on Instagram or on Twitter with written commentary. If someone has taken the time to rip it out of the TikTok universe to put it somewhere else, it’s got to mean it was vetted enough to make it to the best of videos so I don’t have to wade through the rest. It’s really about working smarter… not harder as they say.

Apparently I’m really into the cliches today. I’m just going to let them fly! But perhaps its because I’m an iPhone8 user. And my phone is on the verge of a complete meltdown because Apple has decided that whatever number of version of the phone we’re on will eventually be too much for my little iPhone8’s iOS to handle and then where will I be? Probably getting a discount iPhone X and eeking it’s life out past the time the company would rather I purchase something new. I think my lack of early adoption is really rooted in my contrarian responses. I don’t want to be told I am going to like something, because I would prefer to experience something myself and then decide if in fact I do like it. If people tell me I’m going to love something, that is too high of an expectation. I like the "underpromise, overdeliver" lifestyle myself. So, really it all boils down to advertising, marketing and consumer choice nonsense. Which at the end of the day is what is at the whole early adoption thing anyways, companies need a certain number of early adopters engaging with the products so that they can get people to further invest in it so that they can be rich one day. I don’t like to participate in that aspect of consumerism. Which is why, I just bought a Nintendo Switch in 2022. Five whole years after it hit global marketplaces in 2017. But it’s also to my advantage, because now everyone who has one have played the games they want to and have good suggestions for me. The games have already been vetted by trusted reviewers.

This week someone sent me the following direct message on my Instagram “Hello dear I buy artwork as NFT will mind selling to me” and I laughed out loud. It was from someone who doesn’t follow me and clearly reads like a bot pulled some words together to make a sentence, or the message was a bad google translate from another language into English. I laughed at the syntax but also at the idea that this internet stranger thought I would be at the cutting edge of making NFTs. I am in a love affair with painting. One of the oldest of all artistic forms, and quite enthralled with this aspect of its legacy. It’s part of what turns me on and keeps my attention. I also have been quilting, by hand. Another art form that modern technology has eradicated the “need” for, but to which I am still drawn. The handmade, the touched by a human, the least mechanized, all interest me way more than the newest, shiniest technology. I am not disparaging those for whom these new technologies “float their boat.” It’s just not for me. Right now. Maybe in four or five years who knows, but right now I’m way too concerned with the critique that NFTs and other cryptocurrencies are bad for the environment. And I’m already worried enough about my personal carbon footprint.

On the other hand I once had an oil painter tell me that she was just such a “painter’s painter” because I discussed my use of house paint in my creations and she thought that was rather radical. That’s not cool either… creating some kind of moral hierarchy related to what medium one is devoted to is pompous and pretentious. It is ok to like what you like, and to be clear about why you do without “yucking others’ yums.” The joy of creating is simple, wherever it comes from it sparks our human desire to connect, to be present, and to belong. It doesn’t really matter what form it takes as long as it feeds the maker’s needs. Being a late adopter has served me just fine. Sure there’s a bit of a fear of being behind the curve, but I’m not so conventional so I don’t need to worry so much about fitting in. Having begun painting in my late 30s I’m so glad I am a late adopter because I have some life skills to navigate my relationship to painting in ways I didn’t in my first career choice as an academic. By no means do I have it all figured out. But that’s kind of the joy of it for me. I’m more comfortable with not having it all figured out these days. Maybe there’s more to that message from Past Kandace that I can interpret differently today. 14 years ago she wrote in angst and stress, “feeling like I don't know which way is up, down, tomorrow or yesterday…” and today I write it with the wisdom of not being attached to knowing. There really is no up nor down, no too soon or too late, no tomorrow or yesterday, only today. This artist is just fine, right here, right now in the upside down or the rightside up. I hope you are too.

What I’m Reading

This Time Tomorrow by Emma Straub 

I thought I would change it up a little and share about a novel I recently listened to while tidying my studio space. For some reason time travel and weirdness about time in general has been a persistent theme on the media I have been consuming lately not because I particularly sought it out, but because it’s finding its way to me (see the next media review). This book is lighter fare than some of the memoirs I’ve been wading through which is good, even as it deals with some pretty heavy topics like: aging, life choices, and the joys we try to seek across our lifetime. Perhaps as a recently turned 40 year old, I extra-resonated with Alice’s time traveling adventures as the protagonist navigating her life and life’s choices, but I do believe anyone at any age will find something to enjoy in the book that ultimately is about how we remember our youth, the changing of NYC, and a woman's relationship to her father. CW: aging and dying parental figure.

What I’m Watching

The Resort (streaming on Peacock)

When I signed up for access to the Peacock steaming service to watch the second (and sadly final season) of Rutherford Falls a few months ago, Vaimo and I started also working our way through Girls 5Eva (super fun). Since I tend to cycle in and out of my media streamings for budgetary purposes I like to try to maximize my viewing when I’m paying for the access. Thus, how I stumbled upon The Resort. Starring Cristin Milioti and William Jackson Harper as Emma a Noah celebrating their tenth wedding anniversary on a resort on the Yucatan Penninsula of Mexico, the unhappy couple gets sucked into a fifteen year unsolved mystery on the island. It’s twisty and turny, and there was a fantastically delicious moment that involves a mural. It’s become me and Vaimo’s favorite evening ritual to unwind with one or two episodes of a story spanning decades and perhaps even longer given the universal themes it seems to be pointing toward in terms of the metaphysical existence of humans, memory, and their (our) experiences of time. There's a lot related to personal paths and grief and some amazing cross-stitch embroidery details on the clothes of my favorite character, Balthasar Frías. I found myself thinking about the show when I wasn't watching it and wondering about how it will all turn out. Now that Vaimo and I made it through the eight episodes I'm more committed to ever to share that this is a fun and creative show that deserves more conversation than I've encountered.

Artist Offerings

• I attended a virtual talk with Latinx artists this week and learned of the work of Leslie Martinez’s amazing paintings 
• ​Loved this personal interview with Tschabalala Self with a round up of lots of her favorites 
• My painter friend, writer and all around awesome human Ali Liebegott has a show opening in LA later this month
• Minnesota artist Cecilia Cornejo Sotelo's home and belonging project The Wandering House is on the move and has this amazing write up of the concept during its travels
• New high speed trains coming to the US fall 2023, who knows how long it will take for me to get to ride one as they will be on the east coast for now, but I’ll make it one day I hope!
• I and several contributors of the newly released Second Edition of How Dare We Write will be doing a hybrid in-person/virtual reading at the East Side Freedom Library in St. Paul. Register to join online for the event that will be Sunday October 16th from 1-3pm CT

Creative Ritual

Y’all, I have been resting. Thoroughly. It’s been really glorious. I started a stitch a day whole cloth quilt top and it has really encouraged me to think about the possibility of the medium for making paintings. I am about ninety percent of the way through the online course I am taking associated with the practice and feeling like it’s something just fun for me, and the slow stitching practice helps calm my nerves. I’ve been doing a lot of writing, one interview and a feature for a local-is newsletter will be out soon and I will definitely keep you in the loop about the publications. I have begun preparations for transporting my Roots show to Missouri in November, more details to follow. Earlier this week I mailed out the annual exclusive print to my seven current Ko-Fi sustainers and have five more to give away to any one else who signs up to be a monthly sustainer at any level between now and the end of 2022.

If you’ve made it this far in the newsletter thank you! As your reward please use this code to get 10% off anything in the shop, or enter KCF-Fan22 at checkout. And remember, if you're a sustaining member you always get 10% off anything in my shop. I am trying to clear out my inventory and make room for some new works to emerge. Also, I am taking a few tiny tequilas to a nearby gallery for the holiday shopping season, so if there’s something in the shop you’ve been eyeing, now is the time to snatch it up! The sale runs through Thursday October 20th so happy shopping!

Questions to ponder

What feels upside down for you right now?
What feels right side up for you right now?
Do you tend to be an early or late adopter? Why do you think so? 
How does looking back in your social media archives inform your current creative practice?

Thanks for journeying with me. I hope, as always, that you take what you need and leave the rest for someone else, or for another time. 

-KCF