Flowing through Life
I had all intentions of popping in new items into my shop over two weeks ago. To be more specific, I wanted to add a painting I had recently received back from exhibition, which had not been previously posted anywhere before and I wanted to re-list a few works from my previous shop and move them to my website storefront.
This “simple” task required time and energy, as all do. And, as you’re probably already gleaning from the lapse in newsletter missives, I simply did not do it.
The achiever in me, hates to miss an internal due date.
And, I keep reminding myself, the purpose of this life is to live.
I received this message clearly at my cousin’s funeral last week. Life isn’t just about meeting my own self-imposed metrics.
The Finch App Hermana got me into, has self-care reminders in it. Everyday my Finch asks me to do something that makes me happy - in an attempt to improve my mood.
Somedays I don’t know what makes me happy.
Other days the answer is clear and I make the time for it.
This week I took a different route to the other side of the state so I could stop at Costco.
That made me happy.
I’ve been really trying to hone in on where my energy is flowing.
And I’ve noticed that my flow is halted or at least takes a different shape when I leave home.
I’ve been on the move a lot, though this go, go, go lifestyle has also been clarifying for me.
At the (now bulldozed and no more) Beach Waterpark of Albuquerque my favorite “ride” was the Lazy River. (I want to write a YA series about that place - think cast of characters like Saved by the Bell meets Babysitters Club or make a series of paintings!)
You’d hop in with your tube into the tepid, shallow water and the current would take you around the park. It was a gentle, slow current. And I always found such joy floating lazily without a care in the world.
That’s the kind of flow I want.
Easy.
Calm.
Gentle.
I’m naming it here so that you can hold me accountable to this.
The current of my life has been more like the Beach’s Wave Pool, without the buzzer to note that the waves were about to begin.
When I used to be in that space with my innertube the waves could get so massive and everyone would be knocking into each others’ tubes and I just remember praying for it to end soon.
My nervous system is shuddering at the memory of that place.
Yesterday, I finally got the painting listed in my shop.
It’s this beautiful maximalist still life scene I painted ages ago with the intention to make more in a series that never (or has not yet) materialized.
I guess I flowed into other paintings.
Or perhaps, other things.
Such is life, I suppose.
How’s your life flow?
-KCF
PS: If you want the down and dirty of all the wave pools I’ve been bouncing around in, join my Ko-Fi Club! A recent highlight for that community of Art of KCF Superfans was a private youtube link to a lecture I gave recently…