Duty Days
As the days become noticeably shorter and the light of the sun begins hits our hemisphere differently based on our locations on this spinning rock, I am feeling mid-August on a cellular level.
I often think about if we had no clocks or calendars how I would be able to feel the change of seasons in my bones. And the autumnal shift is one that I know I know.
In my healing journey from my life as a former academic, this time of year always puts me on edge.
The start of the school year never fails to produce a sensation of butterfly wings flapping in my stomach.
Sometimes that feeling has been desired. Like when my Dad would drive me back to campus to get me settled back into another year of college in Kansas. He’d head back to New Mexico, but not before we both would take in a Royals Game at Kauffman Stadium.
Other times the butterflies have turned into something a bit more sinister. A flurry of flapping in the form of near daily panic attacks.
It turns out one cannot just push, push, and push, without one’s body finally giving signals that the stress is too much to bear.
I am trying to learn from the butterflies in my stomach and turn my attention to them with curiosity instead of disdain. With joy instead of fear.
When I was a professor I worked for a public institution with a unionized faculty body. Our union would negotiate our official days on the clock with the administration and those days were deemed our official “duty days.” As in, when we faculty were on duty.
The beginning of duty days used to push me right over the edge. Especially as once “on duty” meetings could fill up your calendar. All official, required things necessary and duly competing with my capacity to prep my scholarly duties in a timely manner for the beginning of classes.
While my mind knows I’m not being called up for duty days, my body continues to refuse to forget them. Perhaps this is exacerbated by the fact that I once again am officially listed as community faculty for a university. And I’m teaching a 2-credit course that begins in October, whose call for my attention is often quite loud from the edge of my peripheral task list.
No matter the “reason” I really want to inspire myself to think differently about my duty days given I am privileged to be in charge of my own duties and my own days.
So here’s a little round up about what I am feeling as my duty right now - informing how I approach my days.
It is my duty to treat my body, mind, and spirit with kindness, care, compassion, and love.
It is my duty to seek moments of joy and gratitude every day.
It is my duty to show up to Studio Utopia to channel the paintings that need to be made though me.
I’m really trying to get back to these basics here because I cannot continue to have my body freak out on me in August. Well, maybe I should rephrase that.
I’m really trying to get back to these basics because I must find a different relationship to the butterflies that come to my stomach in August.
And of course there are other duties to be tended to - but since this is about my work life I will keep duty day reflections to that part of my life for now. Though, I am also coming into my belief that the three key duties listed above are central for my ability to show up for my other duties in community.
I wonder if you had to pick three duties you have for yourself and your creative life, what those would look like for you?
Anyways, duty days start next week (or so my body believes). So welcome my new visual calendar into the studio.
And here’s a roundup of other ways you can stay involved with the Art of KCF realization of duties!
Minnesota Public Radio highlighted Queericana last week in the Minnesota Shortlist. While we wait on the archive radio version, you can read all about it.
On that note, if you missed the Opening of Queericana fear not. Paintings are on view and available for purchase through Calendula Gallery every weekend with viewing hours from 10am-4pm Saturdays and Sundays through September 20th.
Oh! And the artist talk I gave for the show my dearest Hermana filmed at the opening of Queericana is live on my YouTube channel!
This week I will be taking paintings over to MState for a group exhibition called Second Wind that opens August 18th and runs through October 30th.
As always many thanks to all my family, friends, and supporters of the Art of KCF project. If you’d like to become a monthly sustaining member of my practice there are special perks awaiting you!
Thank you for being a part of the Art of KCF, the gift of creativity has so much to offer us, may your duty to your creative spark be met with good outcomes from your efforts.
Heart,