Stuck Like Glue

Astonished that I had made it through a life of over three decades never having to remove wallpaper, last April I took to the internet for some helpful tips and tricks. A quick google search had me investigating all the different approaches for removing wallpaper. Wet it with a sponge, spray it with a water bottle, add a drop or two of dish soap, get that water as hot as possible, hit it with some heat of a hairdryer, scrape, scrape, scrape, cross your fingers you still have a wall after all that. I even consulted my hermana who had been doing some DIY renovating herself, a sponge and a bucket was her advice. So, I dove in and started wetting down a wallpaper border of a repeating pattern of vintage collectible dolls fashioned after white feminine ideals. To my extreme amazement the conditions were such that after soaking that paper it peeled off the wall flawlessly, in one full, and complete strip. After pulling up a yard or so, I would diligently move the ladder, soak, and peel until the wall was no longer holding up the dolls. Well, I did actually leave one small stretch, “my ladies” I call them, over the entryway to the case that once held the former owner’s (from what I hear) very impressive collection of dolls. The case is now filled with my art supplies, as this room is no longer a “doll room,” but instead houses my home studio. My ladies serve as one part homage to the previous owners (for if not for them I would not have this studio space) and one part cheering section for me as I work alone in the windowless room.

That wallpaper removal process facilitated my scramble to make a space in the house that would be able to hold four 4x4 foot canvases so I could launch a virtual artist talk in my social media space because my graduation show had been cancelled shortly after everything shut down. I still had to create the work, and I was taking pleasure in it. I wasn’t sure if anyone would see the work in person besides Vaimo and the few visitors who came to the house, which we can still count on two hands. Later, that work plus five more paintings were seen by some in January of this year, but when I was renovating the studio space, I had no clear idea about if others would be seeing it in a museum or gallery context. Navigating a career shift that relies on a significant aspect of objects in physical space while so many physical spaces were closed down has been interesting to say the least. My home studio has been one space of refuge for me in these wild times, and, it’s a space I’ve poured a lot of love into; painting walls, organizing, taking down shelves and erecting new ones, scouring dumpsters for pallets, making room for new equipment and furniture. And every once in a while I wonder, what will come of this labor? What is ahead for this home studio life? My studio is amazing because there’s no natural light changing conditions in there. My studio is also made up of six walls that sometimes envelop me in the confining sense of being confined. These feelings color my modern challenges of the work from home life during a pandemic.

I am grateful for this house and all the challenges and opportunities it provides. Which is how I found myself over-confident in the removal of a scalloped wallpaper border in the ChicFinn Cottage’s formal dining room. The border has a flamboyant flourish of green leaves and draped tapestries. It signals back to the wall paintings of Pompeii, the frescoes painted on the walls of windows and columns and other architectural details that signaled wealth. And, like then and now, harkens to the idea of luxury instead of affording the actual luxury itself. Given the state of this house, this room that had previously served as a catch all dumping ground/storage “out of sight” space, it has not ranked high on the redesign phase. Until, I decided if I’m going to be in this house for the unforeseeable future, I want every single space of this house in use. And so, I found myself eager to soak and peel some wallpaper so that I could begin painting and furnishing the space to be used as an actual dining or hopeful future conference area.

So, this weekend I faced the wall paper again. I tried a new tactic of loosening the adhesive with the heat of my hairdryer. That was worse than my other method. And then, I just gave in. Instead of just trying over and over to get the wall paper up in the total width of the piece, I just started ripping where I could. The top layer which was much more resistant to water would come up, and then leave the sticker like backing behind. Soaking that would then lead to the easy peel I’d once known. I just had to accept what was in front of me and not be so mad that it wasn’t working how I wanted it to. As soon as I curbed my own stubborn notions of how this was supposed to look I made quick time of the rest of that wall. Yesterday, I removed the stretch over the back doorway. I have two walls free of the illustrated tapestries and such a better attitude. I’ll be painting walls by the end of this week. The gift of letting go and simply meeting the present situation is all I have these days. It’s a lesson that the universe keeps having to remind me to learn. I won’t be leaving any of this ugly (to me) wallpaper border in the formal dining. But the experience will be with me every time I meet with an art collector coming to purchase one of my paintings in that space. Let me be your lesson learned, and just give in to a different way for that thing you keep trying to do in the way that is clearly not working. Be open to the new way or be driven mad by the wallpaper, especially if it's yellow. 

What I’m Reading

An Indigenous Peoples' History of the United States by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz

This book will break your heart and calls into question the assumptions of how US History is constructed by the discipline. Dunbar-Ortiz goes beyond calling the structure of US history teaching and research into question by deftly weaving together global politics that led directly in to the US Federal government’s violent and continuously oppressive response to sovereign Native Nations in North America and beyond. The reality of how these forces around nation-building as a white supremacist settler colony were planned processes and the legacy of those purposeful strategies make for ongoing realities determines this book as absolute essential reading for those of us who are settlers. It begs the question of what to do now, after learning this (if it’s new to you) if we live on stolen lands, beyond land acknowledgements.

What I’m Watching

It’s a Sin (Streaming on HBO) This five episode arc explores the AIDS crisis in the UK, set in the 1980s. Russel T. Davies - creator of Queer As Folk - is back to his strengths in creating rich and complex gay male characters highlighting friendships and their erotic connections for the small screen. The flatmates’ relationships take center stage, and in Davies’ fashion, women remain peripherally integral to the heart of the group though Jill’s character. Don’t get me wrong, Jill is fantastic, just we don’t get to see much beyond her profession as an actor and caretaker of her male friends. The brevity of the show makes for less involved character studies of each of the main characters, but the overarching morality antics fueled by government backed oppression of young gay men with AIDS reminds us all that there are lessons to continue to learn about the failures of the state in addressing infectious disease especially amongst the most marginalized. “Am I going to be a wreck by the end of it?” I asked my BFF before starting the show, “if you have a heart” was his most candid and true response.

Artist Offerings

• I attended a zoom talk last week where Wendy Red Star discussed her work I was intrigued by her insistence that her work is about telling the truth which also happens to inherently challenge institutional structures that shape broader (mis)understandings of Apsáalooke culture.
• Related, Wendy Red Star discussed this Care Syllabus resource in which her part discusses the important movement of repatriation of Indigenous objects back to their cultural homes.
• Speaking of righting historical wrongs, this Indigenous-led creative effort resulting in a new video game - When Rivers Were Trails - is the reparative history those of us who grew up playing the Oregon Trail desperately need.
• Check out this fantastic write up of artists whose art grew with the support of the Harlem-based Studio Museum.
• I went on a Scorpio deep dive of this artist Cate White when I stumbled across this hilarious How to Paint tutorial - with the first full episode out now on her IG. I'm linking for my painters in the crowd because it made me laugh this week. I’ve also been quoting this interview about her work to Vaimo all last weekend. 

Creative Ritual

Wow, my dears. March 2021 has possibly been the most difficult month so far for me this entire pandemic. Meeting some personal goals has meant I’ve been attending to some physical health maladies that has resulted in a lot of medical appointments, testings and treatments that have basically caused two weeks of productivity to just fly into the ether never to return to me. Things were so bad that I was not sure I would be releasing a newsletter today, but thankfully, I’m getting back into the swing of things. As such, I don’t have much to report, but I do want to share that as a part of the LRAC 2021 Artist Cohort, my local arts council has been supporting my business development and had this short promotional video made about me. Please check it out if you have a minute, and while you're there check out my other cohort members' work whose videos have been uploaded. I’m starting to roll it out on my socials, but spreading the word about my art practice is much appreciated.

Questions to Ponder

What are you hanging onto like twelve-year-old wallpaper adhesive?
What do you need to let go of in order to meet the current moment?
What could use renovating right now?
How are you aligning structures to best meet your current needs?

Thanks for journeying with me. I hope, as always, that you take what you need and leave the rest for someone else, or for another time. 

-KCF

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