Ritual Plan

The 2021 Passion Planners have been released into the wild and as a planner it is difficult to contain my pure joy of a fresh planner. This marks my third passion planner to come into my life this year after I chose to order a dated annual to begin using after my academic Passion Planner ended in August. I carry the two 2020ish ones around me between the various work spaces of my home. Mostly though, they end up on our kitchen table waiting and ready to track my water intake for the day or to allow me to quickly check in on my to-do lists at all times. The Academic PP has my list of books I’ve read over this year. It also holds notes from projects that began in January through August of this year that I reference frequently. The 2020 annual that I began in September is my real time tracking and planning guide. I could talk about and review the Passion Planner all day, I wouldn’t sign up to be an ambassador for a brand in which I didn’t believe. This newsletter is not about my Passion Planner, but to fully understand what it is about (planning during apocalypse) it would be useful for you to know of what I’m talking if you’re not familiar.

Passion Planner has been around since the creator and CEO Angelia Trinidad launched a kickstarter in 2013. Hermanita got me hooked on the planner after she started using it shortly after the company took off after the initial internet success. I have used one on and off in the subsequent years. Sometimes I go through large swaths of time where I’m not using it daily/weekly, but having goals laid out in my planner gives me comfort that somewhere I’ve made an agreement with myself about what it is I’m trying to achieve for the year. I like thinking in yearly cycles, annual year, fiscal year, and birthday sun cycle year. To be frank, there is much room to expand my fiscal year thinking, but the calendar year and birthday year cycles are what I track and ponder within the pages of my Passion Planner. The company has been around for a while now and have been expanding their product line; adding merchandise to their ever popular standard calendar (I’m a fan of the small), Hermanita digs the mediums, and there is now an even larger format annual to enjoy. They have a daily planner as well for some who really like a lot of space to map out a day. This year marks the first year they have released a hardback version with a multicolor cover design and they also have markers and monthly tabs you can add to your planner if you’d like. It’s been a joy watching this queer woman of color brand take off and develop and build community. And… as I was placing the September vibrant hue monthly tab into my 2021 Serpent Spring Dated Annual Passion Planner I could not help but reflect on what next September will be for us all. In 2019 I don’t think anyone could have guessed what our September 2020 would be like. This simple action of preparing for 2021 through my planner made me stop and wonder, how can I make sense of my need to plan and the very uncertain future that lays ahead? Is planning futile? This is some very deep existential stuff.

I grew up on a household with several family mottos. My favorite from my dad that ingrained and stuck is, “Fail to plan, plan to fail.” While much could be said about the potential punitive reading of that (failure as inherently detrimental to one’s life for instance), this mantra has been a guiding principle in every area of my life since those formative years. Fail to plan, plan to fail is why my Myers-Briggs preferences are so strongly “J” instead of “P.” I am grateful to have a Vaimo who also has strong J preferences. Until she slips into “Vacation Vaimo” mode and switches into a clear P who cannot be trusted with accommodation planning because she’s pretty convinced everything will work out in the way it should. So that you might find yourself driving and driving without cell phone service in the mountains of Colorado 100 miles past where you thought you might sleep for the night because you kind of planned on it but you didn’t follow through with those plans and oh well… I digress, because even though the recounting of that strikes anxiety panic into my heart, you know what, it does work out the way it will, and we now have a favorite lodge that has better access to the horse ranch for riding and a great specialty cocktail that we wouldn’t have enjoyed if we would have originally booked the place Vaimo was in charge of planning and securing. My favorite “P’s” also remind, “at the end of the day, we all end up where we are supposed to be” (whether you planned for it our not).

And so, we’re back to this question. Should we be planning? Should we count on September 2021 coming to pass? Should we just be going with the flow because of the unprecedented rapidly change reality around us?

Yes, and.

My planner lifestyle has allowed me to tune into that which I can control - my actions and my reactions, how I choose to spend my time. I am not in control of if an asteroid is going to hit our planet. I am not in control of the outcome of an election. I cannot control when the people of this nation will overwhelmingly decide our collective social pact with one another means small sacrifices for others’ health. And yet, I do have control over my life’s path. I can control casting a vote. I can wear a mask when I (very infrequently) leave my house. Planning helps me hone in on exactly what it is I can control. It gives me parameters to shoot for, while also giving myself plenty of room to adjust. My newest innovation in my planner is writing in reminders for a screen-free day after a very heavy zoom week. Yes, I’ve taken to scheduling my rest and downtime. I write reminders to myself, look at the lake. Look into Vaimo’s eyes, intently. I can control those actions.

The deterioration of our social contract with the rise of hatred, polarization and bigotry, on full display and felt in our magnified conflicts in social spaces has come to light for many who have not lived with the continued exclusion because of gender, race, class, ability (to name a few characteristics). This purposeful strategy by some who wish to retain power over others, is about manufacturing a sense of hopelessness and helplessness. We have choices. These systems are not apart from our own inventions as humans. We can choose to change, challenge, confront, push, move, refuse. Yes, some of these choices may be constrained, but there’s always a choice. My deepest frustrations arise when people act as if nothing can be done. We might not all be able to see a different way. And that’s ok; some of us can. I’m planning for a 2021 where I define my success as having peace in my heart more. While my plans may fail due to external realities, I will not fail to try.

What I’m Reading

A Roadmap for our Collective Future

Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women that a Movement Forgot by Mikki Kendall

I borrowed Kendall’s book from my local library and listened to the audio version of the text. Kendall does an amazing job writing accessibly about the perils and pitfalls of mainstream white feminism being the inaccurate and incomplete version of feminism that gets most of the national media attention. Additionally, she makes clear and compelling points about how white mainstream feminist organizing fails to represent the needs of diverse folks because of its inability to fight for better conditions for those most marginalized. Using the frame of the hood, Kendall rightfully realigns feminist organizing efforts as needing to attend to topics like gun violence, housing/homelessness, food security, to inspire movements that work for all instead of just some. Through linking her analysis of white feminism to the ways that white supremacy harms all, she puts forth a compelling call to action for a reclaiming of the political and powerful nature of a much more intentionally inclusive feminist approach.

What I’m Watching

Pen15 The second season of this dropped earlier this month and I greedily sped through the season, partly because the awkwardness of seventh grade is so painful you do not want to linger, and partly because the seasons work so beautifully as overarching narratives so that you want to reach the end of the hero’s journey. The creators Maya Erskine and Anna Konkle play themselves at the awkward age of adolescence alongside kids who are actually 12 or 13. The show is incredible in the way it so accurately captures the experience of adolescent girlhood. As Hermanita said to me in our discussion after watching the second season, “like ugh, who didn’t go through a Wiccan phase?” While the show is set in 2000 which leads to some major fashion cringes that rival the look back into the 1980s, it represents something of US girlhood coming of age in any era. So. Much. Angst. And the show still manages to make the viewer laugh out loud, cry, cringe, and ponder. This season features a closeted gay character, casual racism, cliques, the brutal lessons of masculinity socialization, and ventures into experimental dream scenes that make for interesting TV. Give it a watch (streaming on Hulu)

Artist Offerings

• A closer look at GaHee Park’s figure paintings and color pencil drawings. I love learning about why and how artists choose their subject matter on view here. 
• This round up of why collage is such a resonant medium in 2020
• Also got lost in the conceptually challenging and emotionally riveting work of MN based artist Jonathan Herrera Soto- how can I become their friend?
• The 10th season of Art21 has dropped and the first episode highlighting four artists in London gave me chills when John Akomfrah stated his work in visual narrative is about bringing the past, present, and future into conversation.
• Speaking of bringing the past, present, and future together my amiga Linda Garcia Merchant recently released this incredible digital humanities project No Es Facil that weaves together her life with foremothers as she explores her experience as Afro-Chicana.

Creative Ritual

This second half of the month I received two pieces of good news. The first is that I was awarded full funding for materials to support my Kitchen Saints series of oil paintings of hot sauce bottles on wood through a Lake Region Arts Council grant opportunity. Wahoo! I opened the congratulatory letter on my way to the state park for some leaf peeping with Vaimo and it was a joyous (and unexpected) experience. The second incredible news is that I will be showcasing my Interior Intimacy series at the MacRostie Gallery in Grand Rapids, Minnesota with an exhibit of the nine paintings in the series January 2021! This news has kept me busy painting and prepping for a show and rebuilding my stamina and endurance to work a canvas for more than just one three hour session a day. I have a goal of sharing a completed painting for the show with you in the next email! Now, if there could just be some way to get back to my manuscript. Seems like I have some planning ahead! 

Questions to Ponder

What can you truly control?
What are you planning for?
What are you willing to accept as it unfolds?
How are you choosing to be or not to be in 2020 and beyond?

Thanks for journeying with me. I hope, as always, that you take what you need and leave the rest for someone else, or for another time. 

-KCF

(*For full disclosure I earn a 10% commission from any Passion Planner sales through the link provided above - and if you want to give it a try to use code KANDACE10 at checkout for 10% off. Also, clearly I’m more than happy to continue the conversation in my inbox with you!)