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I wish I could give you a polished essay, as it is this brief correspondence arrives to in-boxes one day later than the arbitrary deadline I have set for myself. And it is because despite my best efforts of starting an essay by outlining it and capturing some ideas via talk-to-text on my phone as I barreled 80 miles per hour down I-29 in the South Dakota prairie toward Wichita, Kansas on Friday morning, I chose to spend my time fully present with my family of origin instead of forcing this essay into existence. My grandfather on my dad’s side is dying. We had a nice visit on Friday when I arrived. By Sunday I spent three hours that felt like no more than twenty minutes holding my grandfather’s hand as he tried to relax as much is possible and rest. The 10-years-ago version of me would have probably held his hand as I typed on my computer with my other hand, or perhaps not travelled at all feigning I was too busy to make it work. I toyed with that excuse two weekends ago, telling myself I have a grant report due, that my story mapping project was due by the end of the month and that I needed every single minute I had access to in order to complete the terms of my grant agreement. But something inside told me to make it work. And so I did.

I don’t have any distance from the events of this weekend to even come close to meaningfully massaging my feelings into a coherent, readable narrative. My Grandpa Creel is currently on this side of the living, but by the sounds of it, not by much, and not for much longer. I journeyed back home yesterday, though I wish I was still there. Sitting with him, and being with that side of my ancestral line was actually one of the best decisions I have ever made. I’ve long understood the power of death and rebirth, but I haven’t so clearly experienced how a loved one’s death might bring different family transformations. I’m grateful for this experiential learning and look forward to applying it to my creative life. In the meantime, I will let you meditate on how death and rebirth function in your life, and/or your artistic practice. There’s a connection there, though I’m not the muse to pass that along at this time. Thanks for the grace of receiving this correspondence in the spirit of understanding and human connection. The original essay I began mapping on the road will end up in this series sometime… until then be well, show/let your loved ones know you care, and stay ready for the rebirth.

What I’m Reading

× Close dialog book cover of The Once and Future Witches

The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow

I started listening to this book on my way to Kansas last week. As you know, fiction has a larger hurdle to get me interested, but I found myself eager to get back into this one after rest stops and gassing up. I’m two thirds of the way through, and will likely finish it up as I’m painting in my studio. Being this far in I can share I’m impressed with how Harrow has brought together fairy/folk tales, the historically informed flair of the surge of patriarchal violence and control in the purge of the “witches” of Salem and how this is happening alongside women’s assertions that they also be granted the right to vote. The book is a fascinating mix of mystery, family drama, gender, race, and sexual politics, lots of action, and a little romance (queer and hetero)! The story centers on three sisters, and given I am one of three sisters it’s really getting me in the mood of finding my familiar. If you’re looking for a sprawling tale rooted in the late 19th century New Salem that focuses on strong women characters, I’d say, give this one a try, and maybe a spell or two if you’re into that sort of thing.

Creative Ritual

I found out some great news that three of my Interior Intimacy paintings will be on view as part of the Women’s Work show at the Indianapolis Art Center in Indiana. Vaimo and I are packing up the paintings and driving them out to a city I’ve never before visited. Very exciting! I’ve started a new Ko-Fi practice where I’m releasing exclusive content from my sketchbooks for my monthly supporters, consider subscribing if you are into that sort of thing, any level of support will get you access to some of my most private work! As mentioned above, I've been working so hard to complete my grant funded storytelling project which has meant creating the digital platform hosting food stories I’ve been collecting across the county. I am excited to share the soft launch of some of the stories I’ve collected are up on my website! Lastly, a new series of painting/mixed-media studies is underway in my studio (WIP shared above) and as such I needed to up my stitching game. As someone who has been cross-stitching since I was eight, I am taking an online course to learn new embroidery stitching techniques that will be incorporated into these works. Don’t worry, cross stitch will always be my number one love, but learning new decorative elements through embroidery is very much strengthening my femme maximalist sensibilities and my technical skills for drawing with thread. Why do I love the back of my hoop even more than the front though?

Questions to Ponder

• What might need to die in order for it to be reborn?
• How are you allowing transformation into your life?

Thanks for journeying with me. I hope, as always, that you take what you need and leave the rest for someone else, or for another time. 

-KCF