Life is practice.
Last week, I wrote about Thich Nhat Hanh’s practice of beginning anew. I shared my personal experience climbing out of the dark night of my soul; how one moment of self-compassion jumpstarted my own path to beginning anew, a journey that continues to evolve to this day.
This week, I challenge you to view your life as the ultimate opportunity to practice. Just as a formal mindfulness meditation practice encourages us to observe our thoughts without judgement, I have found the same skill to be quite useful when observing the habits of our lives.
Before we continue, I think it is important to take a moment and properly emphasize the importance of our daily habits.
“Virtues are formed in man by doing his actions,” said Aristotle.
Or as writer Will Durant interpreted,
"We are what we repeatedly do… therefore excellence is not an act, but a habit.”
In some ways, the habits of our lives determine our trajectory, and so too our fate.
"You are what you do, not what you say you'll do," said Carl Jung.
For the context of this week's newsletter, habits represent the actions we consistently take; they are the foundation of our lives and determine who we will become.
It is mid-way through February. If you made New Years resolutions, you are probably either committed to a new habit or have fallen off the wagon by now. It is very possible that you completely forgot about your resolutions. This is normal; the mind doesn't like to take responsibility for itself. Whoever you are, wherever you are, I invite you to observe the habits of your life for a moment.
What habits are helping you? What habits are holding you back? Where have you broken promises to yourself? Maybe you committed to treating your body like a temple in 2023 and then ate ice cream, chocolate chip cookies, and popcorn last night. (Writers only write what they know. Hint hint.)
The point here is not to feel guilty or denigrate yourself for where you are or what you have done. In fact, I invite you to do the opposite: observe your habits without judgement. It is the difference between “I am so anxious lately,” and “My mind has been producing anxious thoughts lately.” The difference is subtle, but it is important. You are not your thoughts; you are the observer.
This is the part where I challenge Aristotle, Thich Nhat Hanh, Carl Jung, and myself two paragraphs ago. Maybe we are not our habits. Maybe we are not our habits because we are the observer of our habits. If you can take a few moments to observe your habits, without judgement, you may come to understand your choices. From understanding, you may come to accept where you are. From acceptance, you may find it easier to begin anew, to take action and recommit to the promises you make yourself.
We are human, and will inevitably fall off the proverbial bike of our lives for as long as we live. If we don't learn how to be kind to ourselves when we fall, we will never get back on the saddle. In fact, we should be grateful for our falls, missteps, and mistakes, for each time we have the wonderful opportunity to begin anew, to cultivate our practice, to grow and become more aware. If we could just remember to see ourselves as the observer, every opportunity to practice awareness becomes a gift.
Next time you fall off of the habits of your life, instead of dropping into a negative spiral fueled by self judgement, see it as an opportunity to cultivate seeds of acceptance, compassion, and understanding within yourself. You may just find that habits built upon the foundation of self-care and love are more sustainable than habits built open self-judgement and fear.
Thank you for reading. I invite you to practice on Monday, 2/13 for our next group meditation. We will be practicing guided imagery at 8:30 pm ET. Zoom link: https://stevens.zoom.us/j/99566082328.