The 30 | Kindness
“So shines a good deed in a weary world.” -- Willy Wonka via Shakespeare
At a time with acrimonious headlines and manic social media seesaws that masquerade as conversations, I wanted to reaffirm the goodness of the world. Mr. Rogers popped into my head, though the verb isn't quite accurate, because he's been a frequent visitor in the neighborhoods of my mind since I saw the documentary about him last year. Worth your time and particularly eye-opening for me because I don't remember really engaging at all with that program when I was growing up.
But if adults remember Rogers most for his 1969 Senate testimony, they remember him second most for his advice, by way of his mother, to "look for the helpers."
I disagree with The Atlantic's disagreement of employing that phrase because adults must always embody the helpers, not cower in the shadow of advice offered to the juice-box set. That framing misunderstands and misquotes by omission.
The full story, as Rogers tells it, is about assuring not just kids but also our neighbors that community members will demonstrate compassion and real interest in the well-being of one another during times of distress.
"Whether we could be absolutely sure of this fact or not, we need to say it: I will take care of you."
Rogers concludes that: "If you look for the helpers, you'll know there's hope."
Despite the darkness, there are people working to share the light. That's his message, and it's not a misguided maxim for adults. So I looked for some shining examples, starting with a two-wheeled gift.
I found stories of kids, yes, and companies, but I wasn't looking as much for answers as honest discussions, like Imani Perry's observation: "And so I’m constantly trying to think about how do we more fully recognize each other as human, in order to be more humane?"
The other quote that attached itself to my consciousness in recent weeks comes from the brother of a custodian whose contributions were celebrated at the National Cathedral (trivia answer / formal title: Cathedral Church of Saint Peter and Saint Paul in the City and Diocese of Washington).
"My father gave us three things to live by that you can do in your life: You can fade away, and nobody knows you existed. You can do something so bad that you’re not forgotten. Or you can do something good, and you will always be remembered.”
A poet I regard with esteem reminds me that kindness exists as a cousin and counterpart to sorrow. Look for the helpers, friends, and as often as you can, be one yourself.