Iran clings to Strait control post-ceasefire, turning global oil into a bargaining chip.

Iran's IRGC is redrawing shipping lanes in the Strait of Hormuz, forcing vessels to hug their "toll booth" routes amid mine threats and ceasefire cracks. Even with a shaky US deal, traffic crawls, oil spikes past $100, and nations scramble for permits that piss off Uncle Sam. Everyone's picking sides in this watery power play.

1. Mild: Iran just wants safe passage, not a forever blockade. Post-ceasefire traffic is ticking up slightly through Omani lanes.

2. Warm: Ceasefire or not, mines make detours smart, not sinister. IRGC escorts beat floating bombs any day.

3. Hot: Oman-Iran talks prove diplomacy can bypass the drama. A few ships slipping through southern waters? Real progress.

4. Flaming: US barking "reopen now" while ignoring Israel's Lebanon pokes is peak hypocrisy. Tehran has every right to flex after violations.

5. Scorching: Let Iran run the toll booth; high oil prices crush Russia's Ukraine cash flow. EU's Kallas admits it hurts Putin more than anyone.

6. Blazing: Countries cutting IRGC deals are ditching US vassalage for survival. Qatar tankers turned away? Call it self-preservation.

7. Inferno: Strait's international waters, so Iran's "coordinate or else" is straight piracy. No tolls allowed under law, period.

8. Molten: Trump's ceasefire flop exposes America can't police chokepoints anymore. Iran calls the shots, White House just whines.

9. Apocalyptic: Global economy tanks if Hormuz stays Iran's playground. $100 Brent is the warm-up; rationing comes next.

10. Nuclear: Nuke the pretense: Iran owns Hormuz now, bow or buy black market oil. Peace plan? It's Tehran's empire, deal with it.

Reply with the number (1-10) you vibe with most, and forward to a friend who'd pick a wildly different one.