Beijing plays both sides, urging Iran talks while shipping war goods and eyeing US weaknesses.

China's cozying up to Trump ahead of his Beijing trip, all while nudging Iran to the table and funneling potential military gear their way. It's dodging US pleas for help in the Strait of Hormuz, studying Trump's war playbook like a free masterclass. Everyone's screaming hypocrite or genius, depending on the angle.

1. Mild: China just wants cheap oil, not a hot war.

2. Warm: Beijing's public peace calls are smart cover for backchannel arms deals.

3. Toasty: Trump-Xi bromance survives because China knows he won't push too hard pre-visit.

4. Hot: Refusing US warship help shows China: alliances mean nothing when oil's at stake.

5. Scorching: Xi's getting a live demo of US naval flops, perfect Taiwan prep.

6. Blazing: Hypocrite alert: preach de-escalation, export missile parts via Pakistan.

7. Inferno: China's sanctions smackdown on US refiners is economic judo before Trump lands.

8. Molten: Iran war distracts America, freeing China to dominate trade without a fight.

9. White Hot: Beijing frames US as the aggressor, prepping the world for Taiwan spin.

10. Nuclear: China wins either way: Trump folds on trade, or Iran bleeds US dry in endless oil chaos.

Reply with the number (1-10) you vibe with most, and forward to a friend who'd pick a wildly different one.